I would like to talk a little bit about one of my newest paintings, "I'm Set Free".
I had this idea sketched in my sketchbook since 2025, but she didn't make it onto the canvas until now.
One afternoon in May, as I twiddled my thumbs in my hotel room, I glanced at three unfinished 18x24 canvases leaning against the wall. I wasn't liking what I had started to paint on them, so they sat in the corner for weeks.
I picked up the first one, placed it on my easel, and started painting over it.
At this point I didn't know what I wanted to paint on it yet. As I waited for the first messy layer to dry, I looked through the collection of painting references I had saved on my phone.
I knew then that she was the one.
As I've shared with you before, I normally don't come up with a title until way later in the process once the painting starts revealing itself more to me.
In hindsight, though it wasn't the main motivation for it, the title is fitting because this was my first portrait painting that I didn't sketch on the canvas with a pencil first, or even draw grids.
I went with paint straight away! (You can watch the process video of it here.) This was the moment I realized that hey, I know how to draw. If I can draw with a pencil, then I can draw with a paint brush. So I need to trust myself more and just do it.
I remember feeling nervous, but then proud that I got the proportions right the first time around.
When in my flow state during painting, I start to have these inner dialogues.
While working on the butterfly in particular, words like "transformation", "beauty", and "freedom" echoed in my head. But it was the last word that kept appearing in my mind for days. Free. Maybe I could explore that, I thought.
the deeper meaning
As with many projects, I had to step away from it for a bit because work and life still happened, though she remained on the easel and stared at me every day.
The true revelation for the meaning of this painting was actually hair-raising—in a good way. It was unlike anything I've ever experienced in my art journey. A deeply spiritual experience that I'd like to keep private for now; I hope you don't mind.
What I will say is that this particular season in my life feels like I've quantum-jumped into a parallel universe. Yes, I am one of those who (only in the recent years) nerd out about quantum physics, haha.
Perhaps it was a quantum leap, perhaps it was a natural occurrence every year that you get older. A year older, a year wiser, they say. Either way, I am not the same person I was a year ago. Not even the same one three months ago.
This was the year that I finally, genuinely took a hard look at who I was. At my life. At what I truly wanted.
doing the hard work
See, it's one thing to recognize these things, and entirely another to actually act upon them.
So, for practically the first time in my life, I started to seek out mental health support. As humans we can be stubborn and insist that we're fine, we don't need help, we can do things on our own.
But it takes a great level of self-awareness to admit that we need help. That there are aspects of who we are that we need to work through. And deep inside, we know this.
It takes a massive amount of courage, a whole lot of swallowing our pride and ego, to say that. The first step is recognition. The next step is the hardest.
I had seen therapists briefly in the past--twice, actually.
But it was in such a way that I still kept the real things buried underneath. I wasn't ready for my deepest pains to surface and be known. Or rather, I wasn't ready to face them myself.
Well, not anymore.
I can honestly say that I have never felt lighter, more grounded, more empowered in myself until this season of my life. I am reminded of how far I've truly come, the obstacles I've gone through, and how much my life experiences have refined who I am. How strong I am to face tomorrow's battles.
Sometimes it takes a reality check to learn to define what you are and are not willing to accept in your life. It's your life, after all. We only have one of it, so why not live it in the way that is actually fulfilling? Ask yourself: if there are no limitations, what do you truly want your life to look like?
Once I shifted my perspective—that I am a co-creator of my life—I stopped being passive. I stopped letting life happen to me. I can reclaim the narrative and re-write my story.
You are more powerful than you think.
I have a long way to go. Healing is a lifetime journey. An uphill one, at that. One thing I know for certain is that I am not going back. The only way is forward, one foot in front of the other.
The mere one holding me back is me. I am breaking out of the mental trap I've laid for myself.
I'm set free.
If you'd like to own this original piece, click here.